Quotes S. J. Perelman

Fate was dealing from the bottom of the deck....

He bit his lip in a manner which immediately awakened my mat...

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse....

I'll dispose of my teeth as I see fit, and after they've gon...

Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21s...

Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin - it's the tr...

The fact is that all of us have only one personality, and we...