Quotes Robin Williams

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a...

Carpe per diem - seize the check....

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money....

Comedy is acting out optimism....

Cricket is basically baseball on valium....

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the plat...

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason....

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not...

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is...

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out....

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you....

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?...

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense n...

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing ...

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change t...

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and liv...

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drug...

Reality: What a concept!...

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, ...

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"...

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind...

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, no...

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poo...

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearr...

We have a president for whom English is a second language. H...