Quotes Rita Rudner

A man will go to war, fight and die for his country. But he ...

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepp...

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lif...

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin mu...

I know I want to have children while my parents are still yo...

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special...

I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for m...

I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my ...

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlig...

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that th...

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird ...

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk....

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no o...

It's so great to find that one special person you want to an...

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy, the first question ...

Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs ...

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want ...

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage ...

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted ...

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I ...

My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husb...

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a chi...

My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. ...

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only ...