Quotes Mark Twain

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg...

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits....

Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not mi...

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie...

Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms h...

Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in a...

Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you l...

Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowi...

Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your...

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed....

Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks...

Prosperity is the best protector of principle....

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a me...

Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late...

Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they...

Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough....

Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"...

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah... d...

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of ...

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebod...

The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain t...

The difference between the right word and the almost right w...

The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the...

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who l...

The first of April is the day we remember what we are the ot...