Quotes Mark Twain

In the real world, the right thing never happens in th...

Get your facts first, and then you can distort 'em as ...

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary. ...

Sacred cows make the best hamburgers. ...

There are few things that are so unpardonably neglecte...

Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal on...

Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New E...

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anyth...

Truth is the most valuable thing we have, so I try to ...

A lie can travel half way around the world while the t...

One of the most striking differences between a cat and...

I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grand...

In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances,...

The existing phrasebooks are inadequate.  They ar...

To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the ...

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it uns...

If you should rear a duck in the heart of the Sahara, ...

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing.  The ...

Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of ...

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether...

The first half of life consists of the capacity to enj...

It is human to exaggerate the merits of the dead. ...

I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life.&#...

Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - eith...

A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscien...