Quotes Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat....

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electr...

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's...

All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. T...

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should ...

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're ...

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occ...

Car designers are just going to have to come up with an auto...

Children make your life important....

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the c...

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never was...

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Kelle...

Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers ar...

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers ar...

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than...

For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me no...

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a b...

God created man, but I could do better....

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving....

House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them o...

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you....

How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?...

Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's...

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage....

I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a cert...