Quotes Dave Barry

"What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by ...

"I probably should never have been there anyway, and it serv...

"Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religio...

"To defend Western Europe we have to let the Pentagon buy al...

"When you get right down to it, the Safety Lecture is a sill...

"The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a total...

"Stuffwise we are not a lean operation. We're the kind of pe...

"Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn...

"Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance...

"There are no seeing eye cats, of course, because the sole f...

"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."...

"The only flaw in the Hinckley trial is that it left a lot o...

"MEGAHERTZ: This is a really, really big hertz."...

"Childbirth, as a strictly physical phenomenon, is comparabl...

"Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the State...

"Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrog...

"The books all say that barracuda rarely eat people, but ver...

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of ...

"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for ex...

"The Internet is a giant international network of intelligen...

"I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can w...

"In some versions of my original contest column I had propos...

"A guy could have one major limb lying on the ground a full ...

"We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citi...

"It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real gu...