Quotes Dave Barry

"I don't know what the new Ford will be called. Probably som...

"In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken ...

"I figured out why I'm not getting seriously rich. I write n...

"Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Unive...

"The function of RAM is to give us guys a way of deciding wh...

"It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for dir...

"American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospe...

"Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do ...

"Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be i...

"The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique ...

"Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with y...

"Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a...

"Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity t...

"On the Japanese news, if the announcers had happy faces and...

"Over the next hundred years or so football saw a great many...

"Classical music gradually lost popularity because it is too...

"I'm a middle age white guy, which means I'm constantly remi...

"Congress, after years of stalling, finally got around to cl...

"Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business."...

"The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of a...

"The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store wher...

"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from rea...

"It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb chol...

"Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ral...

"Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even ag...