Quotes Andy Rooney

All men are not created equal but should be treated as thoug...

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching t...

As an old reporter, we have a few secrets, and the first thi...

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of ...

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. ...

Death is a distant rumor to the young....

Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude...

Elephants and grandchildren never forget....

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what ...

I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're luc...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me...

I don't pick subjects as much as they pick me....

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a li...

If dogs could talk it would take a lot of the fun out of own...

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it....

If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it....

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no ...

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who r...

Nothing in fine print is ever good news....

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because th...

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the fact...

Taxes are important. President Bush's tax proposals leave no...

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of gettin...

The average bright young man who is drafted hates the whole ...

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person....